


fried bread is the best bread

by BlackCarousel



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen, Sorry Not Sorry, Space Dad Shiro (Voltron), acxa and ezor are my otp, but not for shiro, gender neutral pronouns for pidge, group chat au, highschool, keith and shiro are adoptive sibings, lotor's a dick in this, matt wears old man cardigans, narti doesn't die, non-binary Pidge, or allura, or coran, or matt, pidge is my hero, please, that's basically it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-02-24 02:08:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 1,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13203507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackCarousel/pseuds/BlackCarousel
Summary: ANOTHER voltron group chat. yay! because we always need more don't we. sort of like a crack fic i guess.ages:basically everyone is the same age apart from Pidge, who is a year younger but they got moved up a gradeShiro, Allura and Matt - 18Keith, Lance and Hunk - 17Pidge - 16Coran - no one knows (he could be 20 and something but he could also be 20,000 and something)updates will be sporadic.





	1. lack toes in toilet roll innit

**Author's Note:**

> heyo. hai. ayo wassup!?
> 
> i dont know how to punctuation.
> 
> plz enjoy, i'm doing this instead of revising for gcses.
> 
> also im british so evryone in this fic lives in england
> 
> Lotor, ezor, acxa, narti and zethrid come into this soon enough

_**Keith has added Lance, Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, Matt, Allura and Coran to a group chat**_.

_Keith has named the chat 'Fried Bread Is The Best Bread'_

**Fried Bread Is The Best Bread**

_03:08am_

Keith: fried bread is the best bread

Keith: *mic drop*

Lance: MIC

Pidge: MIC

Matt: BUNGEE

Pidge: im sitting next to him

Pidge: hes literally inhaling butter and fried bread

Hunk: why are you awake at 3 in the morning?

Keith: was hnugry

Lance: _hnugry_

Pidge: hush child

Shiro: KEITH

Keith: hmm?

Shiro: you are lACTOSE INTOLERANT

Keith: and?

Hunk: wait

Hunk: Keith

Hunk: You're lactose intolerant??!??!?!!!??!?!??!?!

Keith: ,,,,,,,,,,,,no

Hunk: BUT I MADE YOU ICE CREAM YESTERDAY AND YOU ATE ALL OF YOURS

Pidge: and half of mine

Hunk: AND HALF OF PIDGE'S

Lance: lack toes in toilet roll innit?

Lance: hehehehehehehehehehehe

Shiro: wtf you guys???


	2. ack. they playin happy

**Fried Bread Is The Best Bread**

_11:26_

Pidge: my mother is literally pouring champagne down my throat in orde r to get me to talk to people at this party

Allura: oh goo d lORD 

Allura: it's half 11

Allura: i hadnt realised

Pidge: THYRE P LAYING FUCKI NGNG HAPOPY

Pidge: HOW DARFE THEY

Lance: How dare

Hunk: How dare

Keith: How dare

Matt: How dare

_Keith added Lotor to this chat_

Lotor: How dare

_Lotor has left the chat_

Pidge: COrn DoNT

Coran: How dare

Lance: lol

Lance: COrn

_Coran has changed their name to **COrn**_

Allura: _anyway_

Allura: what party are you at?

Pidge: FUCKIN G KILL ME

Pidge: EVEB TH EH CHAMGAGN EISTN ENOUGH

Lance: you sure bout that

Pidge: matts godmothers boyfriends 50th

Allura: wow. talk about networking

Allura: anyone cute you can flirt with?

Pidge: im fairly certain my ears are bleeding

Pidge: kareoke is the bane of my existance

Pidge: no they are all from sCOTLAND

Lance: yikes

Lance: that is NOT hot

_10:52_

Allura: i hope you don't have a hangover when you wake up lmao

Allura: those are killer

Pidge: I'm good actually. but i just woke up. and matts is actually pouring coffee down my throat

Matt: tru

COrn: Matt where even were you during this party

Pidge: lol he wasnt there

Keith: he was probs doing the frick frack with shiro

Lance: oh HAI keith

Keith: HAI lance

Shiro: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, _what?????_

Keith: lol he's gone bright red

Hunk: lol


	3. this is why i can't have nice things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a lot of these chapters are gonna be inspired by things that happen in group chats that i am in. meaning a lot of inside jokes. sorry. just laugh along.

**Fried Bread Is The Best Bread**

_11:33am_

Allura: I just became aware that i have to start revising today and i want to _throttle_ myself

Keith: OoF i have one more day of freedom but i have to spend it _cycling_ to _the river_ to watch a _boat race_ with my _sadistic brother_

Shiro:,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, _sorry?_

Matt: MmpH get that gRIND ON

Matt: (ง ͡ʘ ͜ʖ ͡ʘ)ง

Matt: (╬ಠ益ಠ)

Matt: ( ✖ ਊ ✖)

Matt: (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

Shiro: M A T T H E W

Shiro: _**what the fuck**_

COrn: i believe they are *emoticons*

COrn: ԅ(◉෴◉ԅ)

Matt: that's not my real name.

Shiro: What is it then?

Pidge: don't

Matt: Mathematics

Lance: whomst

Keith: he's fucking with you

Matt: Are you calling me a liar, Mullet?!?!?!

Lance: OI!!!

Keith: Fite me

Keith: (งಠ_ಠ)ง

Shiro: oh no

Matt: (ง⌐□ل͜□)ง

Lance: Oh wow

Hunk: it even has glasses

Allura: **CALM DOWN**

Lance: yeah

Lance: calm down, MulletMcStabstab

_Keith has changed his name to **MulletMcStabstab**_

Pidge: Keith and Shiro

Pidge: we'll have fun

Pidge: *well

Pidge: there is no 'we' about it.

Pidge: there is no way in heaven or hell i would ever get on a bike

Hunk: Speaking of

Hunk: heaven or hell

Lance: THE NEW SEASON OF SUPERNATURAL AIRS TODAY

Matt: oh fuck yeah

MulletMcStabstab: _calm down, SirPantsalot_

Lance: lol

Lance: pants

_Lance has changed his name to **SirPantsalot**_

Shiro: this is why i cant have nice things


	4. 凸(¬‿¬)

Pidge: 凸(¬‿¬)

Allura: oh fuck off you pigeon gremlin hybrid

_Pidge changed their name to **PigeonGremlinHybrid**_

Lance: get SHREKED pidge


	5. Chapter 5

**Fried Bread Is The Best Bread**

_06:28am_

SirPantsalot: **RISE AND SHINE MY FRIENDS (and Keith) WE HAVE FIVE WHOLE DAYS OF SCHOOL**

GremlinPigeonHybrid: Lance please don’t

MulletMcStabstab: Seriously, we stayed up until 5 discussing how the moon landing was faked

MulletMcStabstab: I’m tired

Shiro: Hi tired,

Hunk: Shiro don’t do it

SirPantsAlot: shirHOE don’t do it

Shiro: I’m Dad

_Shiro has changed his name to **TShirHOEgane**_

_SirPantsAlot has changed his name to **painintheass**_

Painintheass: I didn’t do that!!!!!!

GremlinPigeonHybrid: no. I did.

MulletMcStabstab: but how?????

Painintheass: when things get wacky wacky, pidge does the hacky hacky

MulletMcStabstab: what the fuck

TShirHOEgane: Keith

TShirHOEgane: language

MulletMcStabstab: _whomst_ the fuck

_Matt has changed his name to **ShirosBitch**_

_PigeonGremlinHybrid has changed their name to **MattHolt2.0**_

_MulletMcStabstab has changed his name to **BroganeNo.1**_

TShirHOEgane: How you dare!!!!!!

Painintheass: how you dare

ShirosBitch: how you dare

Allura: is this _another_ BTS reference

TShirHOEgane: I am the number one brogane the fuck???

BroganeNo.1: **FITE ME**

ShirosBitch: lol shiro couldn’t hurt a fly

Painintheass: OoF

_**TShirHOEgane** to **BroganeNo.1** and **MattHolt2.0**_

TShirHOEgane: look kids

TShirHOEgane: you shouldn’t stay up so late

MattHolt2.0: are you mad, dad

MattHolt2.0: ( p′︵‵。)

TShirHOEgane: no, I’m not mad

BroganeNo.1: he;s just disappointed

TShirHOEgane: I’m just disappointed

TShirHOEgane: DAMMIT KEITH

MattHolt2.0: hahahahahahahahahahaha

BroganeNo.1: hehehe


	6. hit me with the gay shit

**Fried Bread Is The Best Bread**

_17:06_

BroganeNo.1: i dont understand when pepl say

BroganeNo.1: "miss me with that gay shit"

BroganeNo.1: dont miss me with that gay shit

BroganeNo.1: hit me with that gay shit

BroganeNo.1: smash me with that gay shit

BroganeNo.1: **hydraulic press me with t h a t g a y s h i t**

MattHolt2.0: how high are you right now? 

BroganeNo.1: uhhhh,,,,,,,,,, 

Broganeo.1: 5ft9 


	7. coming out party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one with keefer's middle name

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look whos back
> 
> back again
> 
> the authors back
> 
> tell your friends

**Fried Bread Is The Best Bread**

_10:58_

BroganeNo.1: so guys

BroganeNo.1: i realised that yester

BroganeNo.1: day

BroganeNo.1: i lowkey came out so

BroganeNo.1: i think we should have a coming out party

BroganeNo.1: ill start

BroganeNo.1: I, Keith Gerald Shakira Kogane

BroganeNo.1: am a homosexualle

_**Hunk** has changed their name to **Hunkaburninlove**_

Hunkaburninlove: I

Hunkaburninlove: am

Hunkaburninlove: s t r a i g t

Painintheass: yup

Painintheass: lol hunks as straight a ruler

Painintheass: y'know shay?

BroganeNo.1: i do

MattHolt2.0: i do indeedio

Hunkaburninlove: H O E D O N T D O I T

Painintheass: Hunk has the phattest crush on her

MattHolt2.0: omg no

Painintheass: anyway

Painintheass: the only sraght i am

Painintheass: is a STRAIGHT UP BITCH

Painintheass: you could say

Painintheass: i put the BI

Painintheass: in BItch

_private message from **MattHolt2.0 to **BroganeNo.1****_ ****

****conspiracy bros b4 hoes** **

****

MattHolt2.0: so...... 

****

BroganeNo.1: so? 

****

MattHolt2.0: lance is bi 

****

BroganeNo.1: yup uh-huh i know 

****

BroganeNo.1: aand? 

****

MattHolt2.0: nuthin 

****

MattHolt2.0: nuthin 

****

BroganeNo.1: ,,,,,,,,,,what??????? 

****

**_**MattHolt2.0** has left the conversation_ **

****

****Fried Bread Is The Best Bread** **

****

TShirHOEgane: i too am bisexual 

****

**_**Allura** has changed their name to **Allurable**_ **

****

Allurable: i am 

****

Allurable: a smol lesbean 

****

MattHolt2.0: i am asexual but panromantic 

****

COrn: *that strange earthling in a green suit vine* im gay 

****

BroganeNo.1: ok well 

****

BroganeNo.1: now thats over 

****

MattHolt2.0: WAIT 

****

MattHolt2.0: MATHEMATICS HOLT 

****

ShirosBitch: o shit 

****

ShirosBitch: i guess now i s the time the truth came out 

****

ShirosBitch: (ha geddit) 

****

MattHolt2.0: matt. 

****

ShirosBitch: i am 

****

ShirosBitch: sexually attracted to 

****

ShirosBitch: pans 

****

ShirosBitch: EVERYONE 

****

ShirosBitch: i am a PANSEXUAL 

****

MattHolt2.0: oh for fucks sake 

****

_13:49_

****

Painintheass: wait 

****

Painintheass: GERALD !?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!? 

****


	8. the one with the name changes

**Fried bread Is The Best Bread**

_11:57_

_**BroganeNo.1** has changed the group chat name to **the majority of us are gay and here to stay**_

BroganeNo.1: here's a thought

Painintheass: we should all

MattHolt2.0: change our nicknames

Hunkaburninlove: to something to

ShirosBitch: do with our

COrn: sexualities

TShiroHOEgane: did you guys

Allurable: plan this???

Painintheass: i feel like im tripping on acid

Painintheass: but i support this idea

_**BroganeNo.1** changed their name to **gayandheretostay**_

_**Painintheass** changed their name to **boybibibibi**_

_**ShirosBitch** has changed their name to **panwithaplan**_

_**MattHolt2.0** has changed their name to **aceinspace**_

_**TShirHOEgane** has changed their name to **biandreadytodie**_

_**Hunkaburninlove** has changed their name to **straightfromheaven**_

_**Allurable** has changed their name to **smollesbean**_

_**COrn** has changed their name to **hereandqueer**_


End file.
